|On April 1, 1961 Jeffery Sherwood was born. When he popped out of his mothers’ vagina he weighed in at a whopping 80 pounds. He was so ugly that his father actually tried to push him back! His mother admitted his grotesque appearance could have been caused because she ate a sandwich she found out of a nuclear waste drum.
When he was five years old he was sent to St. Mary’s school for the Obese. But his monstrous craving for food soon ran the school out of business. So he was forced to go to public school where the children laughed and made fun of him.
By the time he entered Bayside High School he was 5’3’’ feet and 300 pounds. He was desperate for a date but his bigfoot-like appearance was so horrible all of the women screamed and ran as he approached them. Everyday he would run home crying while the angry boyfriends of the woman he hit on chased him in their cars and threw beer bottles at him. When he got home he would secretly masturbate in his garage, where the smell of bleach was common. At age 18 he became tired of being a virgin, with no woman in their right minds wanting to have sex with him he had to improvise. So one night he bought a condom and went into his backyard and called for his dog Tank. He told Tank to sit still and be quiet. So for a good 30 seconds he stuck his dick into Tanks’ ass and began to have intercourse with him. Strangely it felt good to him and he soon began fucking every dog in his neighborhood. Every night a new dog would howl in terror as “Hotdog” Sherwood began to rape them up the ass! After he finished off the neighborhood he proclaimed, “I am the gangsta of doggy love, the king of interspecies intercourse, from this day on I will be known as Sherdog, lord of all dog’s asses!”
At Age 23, he attended the Taco Bell College for Grease Lovers. There he learned how to become a minimum wage worker with no real chance of a future but learned how to make one hell of a bean burrito. There he also met Ron Waterman and became very good friends with him. Waterman and Jeff Sherwood began going everywhere together: movies, carnivals, camping, etc. One day Sherdog and Waterman attended an MMA event called Romo Gracie’s Steel Mill Combat. Sherwood liked the event so much he made his own MMA (Men Molesting Animals) website, even though he knew shit about MMA and only wanted to watch it to see the big sweaty men roll with each other in what he thought were thongs. After the event Waterman invited Sherdog to his house for some tea. When Sherwood arrived Waterman locked the door behind him and told him, “Take off your pants I got something for you.” A confused Sherdog did as he was told. Then Waterman began to give him a blowjob and licked his ass silly. Sherdog was frightened at first but just like the dogs he began to like it and started to perform back at Waterman.
Today he is a 41-year-old virgin (in terms of having sex with women) who lives in a runned down condo at Bayside, SF. His knowledge of NHB is a joke, but it does not matter to him just as long as buff men shake their asses for him. Women do not appeal to him anymore, not like he was ever going to get any anyways, but men and dogs do fear the name SHERDOG.